Too Easy

So your girl was canned, laid off, paid the piper, sliced, pink slipped... It was last Friday and quite frankly I am on top of the world. There was that initial feeling of, "wow, no job" and "wow, no money" and "wow, lots of bills", but I have not felt so free and at peace.

I don't have thoughts. There are no astute ideas to "get me through this tough time". I recognize who God is. I sense that it all is shaping up nicely.

I have 'Belles' to keep me active and Barack just earned his vote from me as my first check should come just in time to help me breathe. I'm OK. I'm secure. Everything I need will be.

I am going out tonight with friends. I will work on the 'ol resume. I may teach a kid or two and I'll enjoy my holiday. The world did not end and my soul feels at home.

He Looked Up At Me

I was on the 4/5 this morning. It is a beautiful Fall day and the holidays are near. I could not for the life of me get a seat today. I typically do not care... that is a lie, I do care. I want the men to stand up immediately when a woman, pregnant or not, gets up and gives me their seat. DAMN! Be a gentleman... and get up, you see my heals. So today was one of those days. I managed to squeeze in after watching the first train run out of the station, mind you the first was empty. As I peak down the tunnel watching the bright light come near... I get excited.

The bright light is not God girl... relax! Either way, it is that slight anticipation: is that older woman going to jump in front of my spot on the platform? Will I be wrong about where my feet should be in order to get gon first? Maybe I should move up a little. So the 5 stops and I move back to "LET THEM OFF FIRST" and squeeze my way by the young teen who apparently tattooed her name by the door and the tall man whose music is too loud to hear me faintly say excuse me and allow the nice couple to move in because they want to stand by each other.

I end up in front of a curly haired black man. He is good looking, glasses, taffeta colored coat with his iPod touch in left hand. He looks up at me and around to get his surroundings. The train moves. We get to Atlantic and not too many people come in, but that spot by the other door looks so close... and yet... so far! The old woman got it! DAMN! Why didn't I go to the right as oppose to the left like I thought. MENTAL NOTE: always follow your instincts. I digress.

Nevins approaches and I bend my left leg, as the balls of my feet are already hurting me. I accidentally rub against his. I said excuse me, but it was that "excuse me" that you more say to yourself than the person intended. He didn't hear. I did it again, as Borough Hall approaches. At this point, I think, "Self, is he interested?" Now this gentleman is no more interested than any other dude, but my mind was idle and like so many other times before, that is where I went... LOL! Yada Yada Yada... He mouths to me, "Do you want to sit?" As in saying, "Miss... don't hit my knee again, I am not getting up for your fool ass until I am good and ready"... too bad Bowling Green is my stop too.

Night

I am sitting at my desk at work. The night fall is upon us. I have a business meeting after work that I don't want to attend... to bad it's my business. You know what I would love to do? Go home. I love my home and the feeling I get when I walk up my walk up. Even with the heavy breathing and sight of "Bodied".

I saw her yesterday and she made some silly comment about my hair. It's funny. I am a grown woman, who has never and will never get violent, but my ego sometimes chimes in and I want to bash her head into that steel front door. I digress.

The winter approaching is nice. I love the seasons. I don't go outside much though and that can't be good for the soul. It's just by the time I get off, its black outside. Its not a big deal, but damn it I miss June already.
I'm all out of thoughts today and hope to find another job soon. The one I am in is making me insane. I'm so frustrated with being here, but know there is nothing I can do about it. I just have to be with it until God says jump.

The {stuck up} one has a birthday on Saturday. He has been texting and calling lately. I told him on Tuesday that I was not interested in seeing him. Wednesday he said he missed me and today he said he loved me. It is all very sweet. He is an awesome guy. I'm not sure what it is, but how is that men I am possibly interested in are 10 feet away and dudes I don't give a second thought to wants to get on bended knee. Can you get up off the fuckin' floor?

I want to run away from home. What is amusing about this new adventure is I am not running away from anything, except myself. Even more ridiculous, I like who I am... it is the job, business not taking off in a timely manner, the world waiting on Barack to fail, the man of my dreams taking his sweet fucking time... sorry... tangent. I guess it is one of those days that I am feeling a bit... how shall I say... antsy.
SIDE BAR: I love that no matter what in the months and years to come, everyone wants to believe in something greater than themselves and yet it is about who we are being that brings the collective together.

GO BARACK OBAMA + 3

It is 433p on Thursday and I am breathing.