peanut days

You ever have those days where you are not anything... not happy, nor sad, not upset or bothered... just. That is me today. I am having a peanut day. I actually haven't figured out the correlation, but there is one there... I promise. I feel like I'm in a "non-thinking" place. Which is so great to me. It's interesting "thinking". It is the same record over and over, but with no solution.

I had a business meeting last night. I love that feeling right before movement starts in the morning, where all you hear is wind and a few birds. I love that. For a moment, you can ignore the pink elephant in the room that you should be dealing with and sit and ponder whether you can afford to buy a ticket to see your parents and whether you should in fact get up and go for a run this morning because you won't feel up to it after that event and whether I care that much that {other color} one did not call me back. I don't and its not personal, I'll go for a run when I go for a run, I'll see Pam and Ernest sooner or later, and that issue... I think too much, remember, it probably isn't really an "issue" to begin with.

I'm off to a fashion event at Home this evening. I have no expectations, because I haven't thought about it. This usually equals fun. Janette is rolling with me. I enjoy her. She is not quite Noelani, but that one friend you can tell ANYTHING to... I could tell her I killed the {young} one in a fit of rage after he refused to validate my feelings and she would say... I have a place in Bed Stuy we could bury the body. I just finished my last peanut. I'm currently working on that baby weight. Damn that last trimester.