Surprise... You are still not in control

Without going into too much detail... I am f'ing hilarious. {Stuck up} one and I went to dinner and walked around Park Slope on Sunday. It was fun, but I wanted it to mean something. Dating is funny, in that, I'm never sure what to expect, yet set expectations on the other person. For example, I'll go out with a guy and decide in my head after 5-minutes whether my name in fact will look good with his last. Mrs. Hopkins... ew. Then I would be the {young} ones mother and who needs that. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love her, but OMG... sorry... this is a tangent I am going to end. I spoke to the {young} one this weekend, as it was his birthday. I wanted to see him. I wanted to give him a big hug and say... lets be friends, but in actuality, I don't care either way whether we are cool or not, as that shipped has split in half and the other fish in the sea are trying to eat me alive. He was always a good dude though and could kiss.................................... loved that! I digress.

I wish I could grow him up and have him see that my way, IS IN FACT, the only way. Funny... my way is all I know and yet, it isn't quite working like I wanted it to. What do you do about that ladies and gents? No... really... what do I do? I try to put a lot of my energy into B&B, thinking this will pay off and I will have, , ALL THE ANSWERS I'VE EVER NEEDED! Not so fast, no money is being added to the pot and I am getting so tired of "no's".

I sat an watched like a zombie, them announce that Biden was the other half of this "winning" pair. I can't!! I am a Barack supporter. I really am. In fact, I called it last March. He is smart and an affective leader, but damn it, if I'm not completely over this whole process. Recently, I wondered if he was crooked and I was just an idiot that fell into the "he's black therefore I-must-vote-Barack". I actually agree with what he stands for and get the silly suspicion he actually might do something worth standing up and clapping about. With all this in mind, who the fuck cares? How did we as a people get to a place where we put all our eggs in the political basket. These people are humans like us. Liars, story tellers, lovers, haters, cheaters, wives, husbands... Can we stop treating them like they have the secret key and we can't find our 'whole'? It is getting annoying. I get that we need leadership. In fact, I wish there was more localized version of it within our communities, but "be the change you want to see in the world". Is any of this ringing any bells?

In case you weren't counting, that is no man, no sex, crazy job, egoic leadership, weird x-boyfriends, and partridge. On top of everything else, I thought why not get crazy and lose 40 lbs. I decided to cut out some carbs. No man, no sex, crazy job, egoic leadership, weird x-boyfriends, no carbs, and that partridge. I haven't had Edy's Chocolate Ice Cream in over a week. {Stuck up} one tried to shove it down my throat yesterday and in my head I thought, "this nicca is tryin' to get me fat, barefoot and pregnant". "Stupid turd"!! Go fatten' someone else up.... I am trying to control my life here... FREAK!

Speaking of {Stuck Up}, it was nice hanging with him. I still can't figure him out or what his agenda is, but I'm going with it. You see how I regurgitated ridiculousness. "FIGURE HIM OUT" and "WHAT HIS AGENDA IS"... control yourself, woman... or stop trying all together.