You know those cries that seem to start at the abdominal and plummet from your throat. It seems as if a demon is etching its way out to allow for a new peace of you to come through. I had that this week. We will leave names and specifics out of it, but wow... I felt great after. Like a good laugh, its so pure. I'm working the steps, but forget that it is about the journey. Pam used to, well still says, "you are a restless soul, little one!". I guess I am. I want to dye my bang blond for the Spring. I'd like to make love until I can't move my legs and that thrusting feeling down below becomes too great to bare. I see travels and phenomenal dresses, jeans that fit me like a glove and shoes that don't hurt, but create a leg extension that would make Brigitte Bardot swoon. I yearn for chocolate ice cream and can't get enough of my spring rolls. I run because the air feels like heaven. But go back and forth because after all you gotta love a thick girl body.
I love life when you are present. I get chills when I'm centered and laugh at myself when I'm a complete bitch. It's all OK, though. I forgave myself this week. For the child who craved the pleasing of people and decisions that were better left in that moment rather than the 26 year old who wouldn't let HIM in. It's all right in front of you isn't it?
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